The Monster Named Hopeless

The Monster Named Hopeless

A poem by Stella Brians

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There is a monster far below that I hide

In the depths of my stomach, away from the light

It has always been with me, and as I feed it

The monster changes forms, as my life changes around me

I would say that it is red and blue without a solid form

Anger, sadness, frustration are building blocks for the monster

called depression and the walls that surround me

There were always walls, but they changed over time as I have

The monster’s name is Hopeless

And I am sailing in a ship as my inner self away from Hopeless.

I am the self who loves The Beatles and autumn afternoons

Reading, drawing, and my little brother

The child within thinks about death often, and reincarnation

She doesn’t want to come back next time

 

The self misses its family, and the sunny days they shared twenty years before

It wishes it  had loved herself more then, pursued its interests like  it does now

The world feels cold to the inner self that I hide, and the people in it are just as frozen

 

My inner self does not relate to the world around it,

it resists in anger

To the election, the violence,  to commercialism

A world of commercials for TV dinners, pointless activities, and moronic people

makes my self slither away and retreat into my memories

 

It is doing the very best now that it can to survive

To be the writer it always wanted to be

My inner self wants to be proud of the person it chose to be this time around

It wants to be happy, and to be heard through the pages where it relates its soul

 

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