Childish Fears, a poem by Nolo Segundo

CHILDISH FEARS

By Nolo Segundo

As a child
I was never afraid
Of the dark.
My big brother was,
And he would wait
For me to lead the way
Each night to the attic
Bedroom we shared.
( If irked by him
That day, I would linger
Downstairs, making him
Wait for his night’s repose.)

And in bed I would lie awake
For a time, watching with a
Child’s wonder the shadows
Flicking across the ceiling,
Made by the cars passing
In the street 3 stories below.
The way they moved so swiftly,
I thought those dark reflections
Of light might be alive, soldiers
Of the night passing over me.

I had no fear of death either, for
I knew if it came, I would go back
To a very beautiful place, feeling
Heaven I had come from, so to
Heaven I would return (but then
I was still innocent) No , I feared
Only one thing, but it was a huge,
Mighty thing: I feared eternity.

I saw, in my child’s mind, a road
That went on forever, never
Ending, without an horizon
To mark the journey’s end.
And I quaked at its infinity.

Now I no longer fear the endless
For my soul once told me, quickly
And quietly: I am here, without
Begin, without end, forever.
Then I understood – my soul
Reflected my mortal mind,
My brain that can’t recall my (over)
Birth and really cannot fathom
Its own death, for it exists only
And always in the moment,
The indefinable, eternal now.

c. 2015 len carber

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