Safe Inside

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Safe Inside

by Stella Brians

Downcast skies and cold swept air makes me
long for the mountains and trees
For a place to be, and to hide away

If I close my eyes, a cabin nestled in the woods
rests in my mind and heart
My bare feet ache as I walk over sharp twigs
Eyes open to tall pines pointing into the cold milk sky

Here I am again, in my dreams

The door to my cabin opens without a turn
welcomes me back home.

Above, the trees watch and protect from the negative world,
now far away
From the sirens and screams of the modern world

Once I am inside, you are there
Eyes full of love, and arms outstretched

You run the bath, I take off my clothes and you wash me like a child
I fall into your arms, and to the heart of the forest

This cabin is our rock, our hideaway
Evening light filters through boughs of the trees
and cascades into the living room
Makes me hair look red, it always does that

#

All at once, the sun is gone and the rain pours down
My soul is filled with the joy and memories of my New England childhood
You pick me up in your arms, and I’m seven years old again
Somehow, you remember me as your wife
I guess my face has always looked the same

Now it’s 1997, and Jewel’s playing on the radio
I’m in my little raincoat
You look at me, a tall grownup
“I will always love you.” you say
#

Time fades, ebbs and flows until we are back in the present

Another anxiety attack has shaken me, and I’m curled up on
the couch with you
I feel much safer now, in the cabin hiding unawares
From the nightmare down there

This working stiff lifestyle is killing me
Sadness and anger wells up in my stomach like an ulcer
There’s a crater in my heart from the stress and heartache

Another night, another warm bath
Dinner with just the two of us in the cabin
Away from everyone, and life begins to come back to my face

You take my hand and tell me that you love me
I love you too, I always do
#

Our shelter, under this roof and in these four walls
House our love, and ensure our safety
It brings a calm to my anxiety storm

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